I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
