I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
