Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
