Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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