i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
