so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
