She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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