do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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