Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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