i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
