oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
