people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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