I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
