even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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