girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
