i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
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