I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You pole danced in your parka.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
