I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Is it because I queefed?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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