this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
