"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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