So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
