"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Dick very happy bro
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
