Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Damn victory sex feels great
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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