pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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