Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
