I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
