Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
