are you still at the devil's house?
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
