Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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