Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Randomize
