PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
