I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
