the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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