Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
