make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
