don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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