new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
