i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
