Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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