It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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