he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
