Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
