I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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