you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
pop tarts are not kleenex
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
