i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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