Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
