she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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