When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
