i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
what day is it and did you see me today?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
