I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
