I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
